The Big Myths: Looking for Love? Don't fall into these common traps

Fact: Relationships have both a physical and emotional connection, but emotions will change and deepen over time, and friends sometimes grow into lovers—if you give those relationships a chance to develop. You'll have a lot in common, like to spend time the same way, and are probably pretty compatable. Loyalty, honesty, genuineness, flexibility and transparency are core assets that need to be there as building blocks of a great relationship. 

Myth: Physical attraction is the most important thing.

If you tend to make inappropriate choices and can't figure out why your relationships don't turn out well, you may have just had a breakthrough! Sexual attraction and lasting love are not necessarily the same thing. The person that gives you nervous thrills in your stomach may be completely toxic and bad for you. Those stress hormones may be exciting and keep you on edge, but over time your life with this person may be a nightmare, or you realize you have nothing in common and litle to agree upon.

Ask yourself this: if you and the other person were both blindfolded for the rest of your life together, would the appeal still be there? The most important question is do you actually want to hang out with them? Not sexually, just a Sunday afternoon.

Is our relationship just physical? 

• Lack of emotional connection: It may be difficult to have deep conversations or empathize with your partner.
• Lack of interest in feelings: Your partner may not be interested in your feelings or problems.
• Lack of investment: Your partner may only be interested in sex and not invest time or effort into the relationship.

Fact: They feel similar things but can often express feelings differently. Often society's conventions guide people on what's acceptable. But men and women experience the same core emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, and joy.

Fact: Love is almost never static, but that doesn't mean love or even physical attraction is always doomed to fade over time. As we age men and women both have fewer sexual hormones, but remember, emotions influence passion more than hormones, and sexual feelings can become stronger over time.

Myth: I'll only be happy if I'm in a relationship.

Fact: Yes, there are physical and mental health benefits you get being in a solid relationship, but many people can be just as fulfilled and happy in their lives even if they're not part of a couple. Don't buy into the stigma or pressure your fmily or friends puts on you for being single, and don't enter a relationship just to “fit in.” Remeber, there's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Having a full happy life on your own is a wonderful place to be, and nothing is as depressing, stressful, or unhealthy as being in a bad relationship! 

Fact: This is a common myth that we can fool ourselves into believing. You can't change anyone. People only change if and when they want to. So take a hard look at the behaviour you hope will go away. Can you live with it or is it a "dealbreaker" that will endanger you physically, spiritually, or financially? 

Fact: If you are open to change you can. It's never too late to accept new patterns of behavior. Over time, and with enough effort, you can change the way you think, feel, and act. But you have to want to -- no one can nag or bully you into it.